Storm Ready (7.11.05)

Hurricane season is upon us...those on the coast know what that means. We all have The Weather Channel's dial position memorized and watch the tropical depressions out in the Carribbean, flipping coins on which way they'll go and if they'll make it to hurricane status.

Dennis just pounded Navarre Beach. "It could've been much worse..." - that's what all the natives and weather folks are saying, but it's still horribly depressing to see those beach houses ripped apart. Mother Nature does not kid around. It's especially sad to me because Navarre Beach is where we vacationed every summer of my early childhood. Before we built our beach house, we went to Navarre for a week in July with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin. I loved it. I have so many good memories from those trips - buying floats and sunscreen at the little beach novelty stores; shrimp boiling while the "grown-ups" were having drinks on the deck; building sand castles with my Grandaddy; running up and down the beach in my Wonder Woman bathing suit... (I know, I know...the nostalgia is uncanny) Anyway, it hits a little closer to home when you are familiar with the hurricane's point of casualty.

Last hurricane season was really devastating. Savannah has been so lucky (knock on wood) - we've been spared several times. Florida took the brunt of the storms last year, and so far this year as well. I hope and pray that the storms don't make the kind of impact that they did in 2004...so many are still restoring and recovering.

Emily (tropical depression at this point) is stirring up out in the ocean right now. I hope she behaves and dies down before landfall.

Ok, I was just reminded of the huge stack of invoices that I have to process - storms or no storms. Until tomorrow...

9/11 and 7/7 (7.7.05)

London was the victim of terrorism this morning. A well-choreographed attack on the city came in the form of 4 simultaneous explosions of public transportation trains and buses. Thus far, 37 people are dead and hundreds are injured.

Hearing the news, I couldn't help but think back to the morning of September 11, 2001. I had just moved to Savannah (my first day of work was August 23rd). I lived by myself in an apartment out on Wilmington Island; I had not made any friends yet; I was more than a little lonely and second guessing myself about moving here. I was on the phone with a rep in Charleston and, all of a sudden, he said, "A plane crashed into the World Trade Center."

Just like everyone else, I thought, "Wow, what a terrible accident!" But only when the second plane crashed into the WTC and the two massive towers came crashing down, did I actually feel the impact of what was happening. We were all upstairs in the conference room, watching everything unfold, all open-mouthed and scared to death. I went into the bathroom and put my head in my hands and just lost it. I couldn't stop thinking about everyone I loved and where they were and if this was about to become a string of widespread attacks across the entire country.

Our boss announced that everyone was free to go home and be with their families. So, as everyone filed out, so did I. I drove out to my empty apartment, got my stuffed dog, Freddy, and sat on the couch, watching the news. I called my mom and talked to my boyfriend - both more than a few hours away - and tried to calm my fears...but the more I watched, the more worried I got, and the harder it was to turn off the television. All of these lives were lost. In a matter of minutes. It went from a sunny, crisp, Fall Tuesday morning in NYC to a day overcast with ashes and death. It was hard to believe. And even harder to deal with.

I think I grew up a lot that day. And that week, month, year... Maybe we all did. Being in a new town with no one to turn to for comfort was a different feeling than I had ever felt. And then having something as devastating as 9/11 to try and deal with - alone - it was a true test of my faith and my strength. I thought very seriously about just moving to Tifton for awhile. Living with my parents while I "figured things out..." But that would have been cowardice of me, and I would have been using the 9/11 loss as an excuse to regress. I'm so glad I didn't. I'm thankful that I stayed and stood on my own two feet and prayed and spent lots of time reflecting. I am a better person for that.

This morning's tragedy in London will, no doubt, have a lasting effect on its people. One of those "Where were you when..." moments that you never can shake. A senseless waste of human life. I hope that they can persevere, as America did, and find strength in their patriotism, their leaders, and in each other.

Clutter...Upstairs and on the Main Floor (7.6.05)

I know that I can be classified as "obsessive compulsive" - not on a severe, debilitating level - but obsessive compulsive nonetheless. I love order. I crave symmetry and cleanliness and hospital corners and vacuumed carpets and fresh towels and swept floors... It's a little sick, but it's my reality.

Last week, I finally reached a breaking point in my office. This little space that I spend the majority of my time in was starting to feel like it was literally about to come down on top of me. Something snapped on Thursday afternoon, and I purged my space. Completely. I threw away any and everything that I had not touched in more than 2 weeks. It took me all afternoon, but it looks amazing in here! I am so proud...and, beyond that, so much calmer. The clutter that was on my "main floor" was affecting me "upstairs." So now that the tangible junk is gone, my mind is clearer. Amazing.

I don't know how people live in disarray. It would drive me clinically insane. Not that my house is always spotless and uncluttered - that's not true at all - but when it IS messy, it weighs on me. I wonder how many people feel this way... 1 out of 3... 1 out of 50? Who knows...

Right now my closet is completely destroyed. Things are thrown in there, shoes and bags are all over the floor, t-shirts are mixed in with sweatshirts and towels...it's disgusting. And it has been on my mind for months. Maybe this weekend I will get motivated and get that all settled... then, I suppose, I could always take on Lee's closets...good Lord, that would certainly keep me busy (and furious).

But, in a strange and somewhat reassuring way, it's nice to know that I can gain comfort in the organization of a space. My office, my closet, my car... getting any of those in order brings a clarity and peace of mind that is sometimes hard to come by for me.

Yes, you're right - I am a sad, sad human being. Put whatever you deem necessary on my tombstone, but please make sure that it is mowed regularly and the words are centered. hahaha...