This week, 7 people from my office are in New York City doing an event for one of our clients. Everyone on my hall except for me. And I can't help but feel jealous/angry/dejected about being left behind because I have worked just as hard (and harder in some cases) than everyone that is having a 3-day adventure in Manhattan right now.
However, instead of partying in the East Village, having drinks on the penthouse patio across from the Empire State Building or shopping in Soho (yep, they've done all these things)...I am helping answer phones (lack of manpower) and still trying to keep up with everything else I've got going on. Makes me furious. I'm sure that part of this is just immature envy...but another part has to do with the fact that I have worked my ass off for this client...and there are people at the event who have barely been with our company for 3 months. I have been here for 4 long years. And it's not just being in NYC...it's being that close to the client and having that experience - I want that. I deserve that. And, instead, I am left behind to do my "catch up" work.
I probably should have voiced at least a little of this before the event, but I didn't realize how incensed I was until now. I just feel slighted.
Is it me, I wonder? Do they not think that I can handle myself in that situation? Do they not think that I am at that level? Who knows... Although, I really DON'T think it's any of those things...I think I just got overlooked. And that really sucks. We're a small agency...opportunities like this don't come along all that often. And I wanted this one.
So, what does this teach me? I guess to speak up next time...even if it doesn't turn out the way I want. At least I will have stood up for myself. Wonder why at 29 that can still sometimes be hard to do?
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
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