Relativity (6.8.05)

All of my personal "planning snafoos" lately have really gotten to me. I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday afternoon, after my florist called to make sure I knew that the reception hall is going through an identity crisis. I just started feeling like I was the only one with anything invested in this whole wedding - which is silly, and all I ever had to do was ask for help.

Lee immediately got on the phone and called the owner of the reception hall at home (oops), and we talked with him until our nerves were calmed. He is absolutely going to honor the contract we signed with his original lessee, and he has already hired a replacement (we got his name this morning). I have a new concierge now who has saved my life (her name is Jill Smith and if you ever need ANYTHING as far as reservations or any travel-related services...call her!! Her website is www.desinationssouthernstyle.com ), and she has really been working hard to make sure we have enough rooms blocked off. She's also working on our transportation from the ceremony to the reception etc etc.

Ok, all of this self-absorbed crap just to explain that last weekend, I got a real dose of humble pie. I had two extremely special guests at my party last Saturday...my best childhood friend, and another friend of mine from high school (and beyond). My earliest friend is recovering from Hodgkins disease (has the Sinead O'Connor 'do right now), is raising two little boys who are 3 and almost 6, working on her PhD at the University of Alabama, and is doing all of this sans partner. She's only 30 years old.

The second of my friends is raising a child who has down syndrome. I went Sunday to visit the little family - it's her, her husband and their precious little girl. I just kept thinking, "How in the world have I been so narrow minded and selfish not to think about other people and the struggles they're going through..." I mean, I wrote one a letter and called her a few times, and I sent a present to the baby when she was born...but I have not done all I could have done. It was extremely humbling.

So, my mission now is to really think about things before I get worked up. I need to count my blessings, and thank God for all of the wonderful people in my life and all of the things that have gone right for me. It is such a struggle to do this...I wonder why.